Ben10s aka younger man who date older women usually for financial gain or sexual experience have been around for years and it’s become quite a huge phenomenal in South Africa. Older women are said to draw their youth from these relationships by being with younger men who remind them of their hay days. Some do it for control as younger men who not financially well positioned can be manipulated and dominated. Below 10 Guys (Ben10s) Share Their Experiences Dating An Older Women
She taught me a lot
“I dated a girl who was 9 years older than me (she was in her early 30’s, I was early 20’s). I really enjoyed it because she knew exactly what she wanted and she wasn’t afraid to tell me. She had already been there done that bought the t-shirt and, while that may bother some guys, it was refreshing to me. We didn’t have to play that weird game where we tip toe around things and play games and all that other bullshit, it was always all laid out and honest. The one stumbling block that we had was that she let the age gap get to her sometimes, especially in the beginning. She always seemed to be on the lookout for things that indicated I wasn’t mature enough or I didn’t know what I wanted. The real root of the problem was that she was afraid that I would get bored and leave her because she wasn’t some hot young thing out partying it up, which she wrongly assumed I wanted. I thought she was incredibly sexy and I was thrilled to be with her, but it took a long time to convince her of that. We broke up over unrelated things, but there are a lot of things about that relationship that I really miss. She taught me a lot about myself and a lot about what I want in a relationship.”
Disappointed
“I dated a woman 9 years older than me for 11 months, and I broke it off because she flat out said that I’d never be a parent to her daughter, and I was making her a bad Christian with all the premarital sex. I was only 20 and that was my longest relationship at that point so I was really disappointed.”
Parents upset
“Is it ok to date someone who’s older than you? Im 19 and im dating a 25 year old chick I like her a lot but her parents are upset over this.”
Happily married
“My wife is 7 years older than me, still very happily married. Was a bit awkward at the start but not for reasons you might think. She was in her mid 20s but looked 14 and I was 18 and looked in my twenties so I got lots of death-stares for that one. Otherwise our age difference has never been a factor and we’re very happy and dorky together.”
So frustrating
“I’ve always heard older women were more mature etc so I went for it. That was not my experience. I dated a woman in her 40s when I was in my late 20s. She was jealous of any girl who looked at me twice, got mad at me several times for being polite to waitresses. She was really cool when it was just the two of us, but she was so insecure it was a massive turn off. We wound up breaking up after she shouted at a ~16 year old girl who took our order at McDonald’s. In her mind the only reason we broke up was so I could pursue the underage McDonald’s girl :/ The break up was so frustrating.”
Parents took time to get used to it
“Difference is 10 years.. Been dating for almost 2.5 years! Apart from my parents having taken some time to get used to it and friends being like “whoaa, she’s that old?”, it’s pretty normal. I would have thought older women were less touchy and moody, though.. Hint: they aren’t”
Youthful enthusiasm overwhelmed her
“My first serious girlfriend was 15 years older than me. I got a late start, the difference wasn’t as weird as it prolly sounds. Some things worked really well. She was interesting because she had done cool things with her life. She was financially stable. The issues when we were alone were pretty minor: she was from a fairly prudish generation, she didn’t know a lot about sex. Our cultural references were often lost on each other. She was fairly set in her ways, there were a lot of things that simply had to be done a certain way. There were more issues in public. Her friends gave us sidelong glances and were clearly a little uncomfortable about it. I was willing to not care, but it was rough on her nerves. We didn’t always share interests, we were at very different places in our lives. There was some background noise. She had some bad/complicated relationships in her past, and I often felt like I was being compared to strangers, and judged for their choices. I think she was having a mid-life crisis (in hindsight). While the sex started with a bang, it became clear that her libido was tied to the newness of the experience, it slowly came down. No regrats, I learned something and had a good time. She was deeply grateful for the attention, and that was nice. At the same time, I think my youthful enthusiasm eventually overwhelmed her.”
It didn’t work out
“I dated a few older women casually. One was longer than others and I saw her more often (it was after a breakup and I was all giddy about dating an older woman). It didn’t work because she had baggage, wanted kids and we both agreed it wasn’t going to be with me. She also may be kinda crazy. The difference was 12 years.”
I’m going to marry her
“8 years gap here, I’m 25. It’s refreshing. She’s not scared of emotional intimacy, she knows what she wants and for the better part of the day, she’s got her shit together. I’m gonna marry her sometime in the not so distant future.”
Just sad
“Dated a girl who was 5-6 years older than me for almost a year (I was early 20s, she was late 20s). Relationship was kinda rocky to start because she thought I was cheating on her (I wasn’t). We got along well and had a lot of similar interests. She was really fun, chill, cute. No one ever noticed the age gap until we said something. Unfortunately, her trust issues manifested terribly in our relationship. Anytime I talked to an or a female friend, I would get yelled at and accused of already cheating on her regardless if they expressed interest. Definitely some of the worst memories. But our highs were really high. Lots of love when things were good. Cuddling, going out, sex life, supporting each other. Complete rollercoaster of a relationship. Looking back, she just had a bag of problem with a crappy hand in life. She’s a really sweet girl with a lot of life. Just sad.”
