Sometimes jealousy dwarfs the mind and prevents rational thinking, which leads not only to a breakup but also to murder due to jealousy. How not to become a hostage to these terrible emotions? How to overcome this feeling? Can jealousy ruin a relationship?
1. Jealousy is protection in an attack
Of course, a pinch of jealousy will not hurt a relationship. On the contrary, it can only spur a partner to more passionate feelings and force him or her to leave the familiar comfort zone. In some cases, jealousy is a precautionary mechanism. But often this feeling crosses all boundaries. When we are very jealous, we are afraid that our partners can find someone better and more attractive on, say, a single dating site. Therefore, we are afraid to be rejected and, worse, cheated on. In this case, jealousy is a way to cope with such a threat, protect one’s rights and in general, to force a partner to abandon sinful thoughts.
2. Jealousy as an adaptive emotion
What is jealousy in relationships? Jealousy is a universal emotion that is inherent in each of us. Evolutionary psychologists say that this feeling acts as a mechanism for protecting our interests. This is due to the fact that the chances of survival are much greater if all competitors are ousted. For example, in the wild, lions kill the offspring of a rival when they seize power, jealousy defending their future offspring. But we live in a cultural society. It is important for us to resolve this emotion in an adequate framework so as not to mess things up, which in the future can be pitied. We can often observe how men who married a woman with a child negatively treat him or her since this child is a direct reminder of her past relationships.
3. This is a much deeper feeling than it might seem at first glance
Why does jealousy ruin relationships? Many psychologists consider jealousy as a sign of deep self-doubt. In fact, this is a deeper feeling. Jealousy reflects a high level of loyalty to a partner, love, honesty, and sincerity, let’s say, this is the flip side of the coin. These values are present in pathological jealousy, transforming care into jealousy.
4. Jealous feelings and similar behavior differ from each other
Feelings and behavior are radically different things. You can think up in your head the most incredible pictures of how a loved girl jumps into a car of some handsome man, and how they make love at sunset. Called by a fantasy-sick person, they can develop into unfounded accusations and mistrust. Stop and tell yourself: “You have no reason to doubt this woman. So, don’t rush things”. Calming down, you should look at the situation from a different angle.
5. Realize that uncertainty is part of a relationship
It is characteristic for jealousy that a person doesn’t feel sufficient confidence in a partner and requires constant evidence. “I want to know for sure that we will not break up”, or “Swear that this guy/girl is not interesting to you” – this is quite common phrases, which faced the victims of jealousy in relationships. Ironically, this behavior is the reason for breakups. Uncertainty is an integral part of our life, so it is necessary to learn to live with such risks. We can’t do anything with this phenomenon and will never fully know what a partner has in mind. So, just live and don’t search for the truth, which can only lead to a nervous breakdown.
Also, you can think that you are not good enough for a particular person. So, this is the reason for jealousy. You may think that she or he can find someone better. And yes, if you don’t stop, then your soulmate will simply leave you. Think about why this person chose you? What are your good traits? Do you understand what we mean?
