My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 9 years now and it started off really great. Along the way I picked fights on silly trivial issues mostly because of my insecurities with him due to bad past experiences and not knowing that he will commit. I realized how silly it was until a couple of weeks ago. The fights always ended up being very intense and pointing fingers both ways. I guess I was scared to commit 100% and was so sure that he was doing something wrong even though he really wasn’t. The fighting killed quite a bit of our spark and feelings for each other and we backed off in terms of committing our feelings again. My boyfriend says that he is tired of the drama. He asked me for some time to sort out his mind. I am scared that if we do try again he would be holding back. Which is what I had been fearing and anticipating but I guess it’s a natural reaction to from both sides. He said he is struggling to fall back into the wagon of falling in love with me, which really hurt to hear that from him, but i also feel the same. I do know we can go past this and that we can re-build what we had in the start or re-build to a new start and go from there. He says he wants me and wants to be with me and wants to settle in future with me. But I found it confusing as it contradicts him holding back, does it? Where to from here? I am quite unsure how to handle this from now onwards. I guess I have to give him and myself more time to get back onto the wagon? and not force anything to happen? We are good together and I hope that it will work. How can we get the spark back in our relationship after weeks of fighting?
Please do advice.
